As soon as the door closed the tears started. Big fat droplets during the safety brief merged into hiccups and sobs as we taxied down the runway. It was official, I was leaving Timor Leste.
I was crying for the same reason I cried when I left Australia 6 months ago, bound for Timor. I loved my life here and would miss my friends dearly. The irony wasn’t lost on me, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.
I was also crying because there is so much more I could be doing to make the world a fairer place. It’s not fair that I can get on a plane and fly away to a “privileged life”. What gives me that right?
My mother was always careful to be completely fair between my brother and I. She would spend equal amounts on our Christmas presents, we would receive equal amounts of pocket-money and we would get equal scoops of ice-cream. I took that philosophy on-board. When I feed seagulls at the beach, I tear the chips into little pieces and throw them all at once, so every seagull gets a chip! But the world isn’t like that. Not everyone gets a chip. Perhaps my mother would have better prepared me for the realities of life by beating me with a stick while feeding my brother ice-cream.
The jets drowned out my sobs as I watched the little island I called home get smaller and smaller beneath me.
July 2015
justcoslife 
