Fluid Freedom

Flying away, away from my family, my friends, my partner and my comfortable life. As the distance grows, the hours pass by and the white culture that is my own disappears to something more exotic, a sense of calm grows over me. The stresses of suburbia, the pressures of how things should be, of expectations and assumptions; they give way to something else. I’m the exception here, the sore thumb, the one who doesn’t quite fit in… who never will, and it’s liberating. There is no conformity to abide to as I just cannot, it simply isn’t possible. My personality changes between my own, their assumption of how a ‘westerner’ should be, and their own culture. I can move between places, change my accent, my story, chose how much to say, what to withhold, or simply not say anything and glide by undetected, unnoticed, watching from afar.

I’m still tarred by my own brush, but here the black doesn’t seem as thick. The ‘shoulds’ aren’t as loud and its much easier to say ‘when I get home’. Funny that the ones you love, those in your most treasured memories are also those that cause the most stress, the most hurt and the greatest pressure to conform.

Everyone should, at some point in their life, travel by themselves; free from assumptions and expectations, to somewhere completely different, away from your own culture, your own kin and your own predispositions. Venture away from everyone and everything, into yourself and discover the calm within.

April 2015